Entry 10

Slow + Still Living in a Fast Paced Life

With chaotic schedules, loud sirens, and hot sardine-like subway carts in the summertime (upon many other things); one who is a fan of all these new slow living trends may look at a place like New York City and wonder how anyone could ever find a sense of stillness, slowing down, or settling-in amidst what is known as the “city that never sleeps,” 

I used to think about this too prior to our move here. 

The aspect of slowness and a present mind as we surrender our idols and fleshly wants to God is something I oftentimes see beautifully done by family + friends in “slower” places like the suburbs or the countryside.

And to be honest, at first sight, it used to make me somewhat envious.  

Growing up, my family had a house with a pool in the backyard on a quiet cul de sac. I had friends over everyday after school and in the summertime my friends from the youth group would come over for bonfires and pool parties. My mom and dad worked hard together to ensure that we had a carefree upbringing, could be provided with a gateway to pursue our passions in the future, and so that we could pursue ministry as a family.

I loved it. Sometimes, I miss it.

Even though this sounds all wholesome and everything, we were a BUSY bunch.

But regardless of how busy all of our schedules were, my family always had time for dinner around the table. Everyday. Even if it was an hour or two later for whatever scheduling reason.

When I reflect on that level of dedication and intentionality that I carried to be still with people I love throughout such a busy upbringing, it sort of convicts me…

Where does that intentionality for slowing down to seek stillness with God enter in my adult life when I am in the midst of an insanely busy work week or career transition and I feel like my head is about to spin off?  Does any of this pondering have to do with where I am being physically planted?

Navigating this as I started my post graduate journey in New York City was, how one would say, interesting.

I’ve talked about it before, how NYC has the best of the best in nearly every industry so this inevitable grind to always improve or reach for something oftentimes never stops. 

In my first year here in the city, I remember feeling so overwhelmed, I just laid on a rock in Central Park and cried.

I had just left work, I had audition tapes due, I was missing my family, and after all those years of wanting this city so badly, it was catching up to me in real time, how non-stop life here has the ability to become.

I took a deep breath and observed the clouds in the sky.

“God made that.” 

I remember thinking.

I sat up and started to observe what and who else was around me. The grind of that season became irrelevant. 

On the train ride home, I began to think, “what if stillness isn’t about the pace of your surroundings, but the posture of our hearts?”

In Psalm 46, we read the popular scripture “Be still and know that I am God…” 

In this Psalm, the psalmist was declaring that amidst all that is going on in their surroundings, The Lord is their refuge; He has always been on the throne and with that we have every reason to trust in Him.

We are later told by Jesus Himself “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest,” (Matthew 11:28)

Scriptures like these remind me that even within the fast paces, we are still called to the comfort of God’s presence where we are enabled to rest and find refuge. And since we serve a God who is omnipresent (Psalm 139), His presence is with us everywhere at all times. In the city or the country, on the mountains or in the valleys, because of who He is we are enabled to find divine stillness in Him, slowing down enough to develop a heart posture which seeks His desires for how we steward what is presented before us everyday. 

I’m thankful that these days, 2 years into big city living, I’m finally able to walk in the assurance that stillness and slowness are not a matter of where I am residing, rather it’s a posture of my heart that can only be taken on when we are choosing to put Him before everything else, no matter where we may be.