Entry 6
The Bridge of Mercy
My life in the city is a testimony of the mercy of our God.
Let me explain…
It wasn’t that long ago that I was living a life solely to please man. All I cared about was which impression I was leaving on others, what a person would think about an in particular circumstance, if I was good enough, and if I was upholding the proper accolades to be deemed worthy in a world where such temporary matters define your worth.
At the very start of the pandemic in 2020, my life had flipped on its head. Literally. Everything was changing. My family was walking out recovery from a nearly fatal car accident which happened just prior to the pandemic, I’d finally broken off a silly on and off relationship with a boy, I was even debating whether I wanted to return to my bachelors program for the home stretch of it…not to mention the whole world was locked down.
It was when everything stopped that The Lord had a chance to meet me there and rewire my heart.
But it took the world shutting down for me to see what God was trying to do amidst all of the changes.
The week leading up to Easter was an interesting one, worshipping at home and celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus on the couch with my brother and parents was an Easter I’ll never forget. We still put on our Easter Sunday outfits to worship though, that part was cute. Anyways, leading up to that day, the Lord changed how I saw nearly everything.
When you put your self worth in the hands of circumstances which are temporary, the source of that temporary affirmation soon fades away and you aren’t really sure where to feed from next. Everything that ever mattered to me (aside from my relationship with God) had failed me in that season. In these moments, dreaming and wondering with God sounded a lot like “GOD, DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT LOSING ALL OF THIS MEANS?”
When I reflect on who I was then, I like to think God was smiling and laughing at how naive His children can be.
I now live in New York City, married, pursuing my masters degree, making art and traveling the world with my husband.
I like to think of who I was then and who I am now, then picturing this bridge of His mercy connecting the two. Because, none of the callings of which I’m currently walking out would I be equipped for should I not have been stopped in my tracks amidst everything I was doing to be brought into authentic love and relationship with God.
Although, it did feel uncomfortable, my gratitude to this day is never-ending. All because of that bridge of mercy, which has lead me to now, I will never be the same.
This is just a small chunk of my testimony that always reminds me of His steadfast love which never ceases.
Thank you Lord for your bridge of mercy, great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
